Franklin Idaho Bradbury: 1920-2010
Charlie, Laura and I flew home for the funeral of my Grandpa B. I sang How Great Thou Art with Trissy from the old ward. Laura wrote and posted this picture on her blog and I loved it and ditto everything she says. Today was a wonderful day with many great tributes to Grandpa B.
Loss is different when it’s a loved one.
Late Sunday night, we got a call from my dad, informing us that his dad, my Grandpa B, was on his way out of this life. We knew he was declining, but hadn’t heard anything for awhile. Dad told us he probably only had a few more days in this life. We called Grandma, then went home and went to bed. Two hours later, he was gone.
I spend approximately 40 hours a week thinking about death, people who are dying, people who love people who are dying, people who are dead, and people who love people who are dead. I spent the other hours in my week learning about death. It is on my mind a lot. And I love my patients, but I love my Grandpa a little bit more, and wrapping my brain around his death is a bit harder then dealing with death every day is.
I spoke to Grandma again today, and she told me how grateful she has been for family and friends. And for her knowledge of the Plan of Salvation that gives her the faith to know that death is not the end. After his death (about 11pm MST) she went to bed and got a really good night’s sleep. Funeral arrangements have been made, and I will fly home tomorrow to see them.
Grandma told me how grateful she was for her hospice social worker. Grandpa was only in hospice for about a week, so they only visited once. But Grandma had a great experience with hospice, and she feels like they made this time much easier for her, and much more pleasant for him.
I am trying to think of the best way to honor the life of Grandpa. He has always been a man that I looked up to and loved. He had a sense of humor and an optimistic attitude that knew no bounds. When I was 16, I used to lifeguard the early morning shift at the swimming pool. Every Monday and Wednesday, Grandpa would come in to do water aerobics. He’d come over to me and give me a big hug. Lest I feel too special, he’d make his way to the other lifeguard and give him a big hug too. Then he’d jump into his shallow water aerobics class. He was the only man in a class of 20-30 ladies. Vintage Grandpa.
While life guarding, I’d observe my good old grandpa making his way around to each and every other participant. He’d flirt with each one of them. My lifeguard friends- not knowing his relation to me- used to talk about the "water aerobics king and his harem." He was always quite the womanizer. He found a way to make each person he interacted with feel very special; while talking with Grandpa, you were the most important person in the world to him. Often, his “water aerobics girlfriends” would come up to me in private and tell me how lucky I was to have a grandpa like him. I agree.
When I was 17, my family went on one of our many trips to Arizona to visit Grandma and Grandpa at their winter home. Grandpa took me for a ride, and let me drive his old blue VW bug. I’ve never felt cooler. He showed me how to work the clutch and the gearshift (never mind the fact that I learned how to drive a stick before I learned how to drive an automatic), and instructed me on the art of jimmy-rigging the turn signal so that it would actually light up in the back.
After my mission, I started to notice a more obvious decline in Grandpa’s health. In January, 2008, Grandma had to spend a few days in the hospital for surgery. She asked me if I would be willing to spend some time with Grandpa. I was grateful for the chance. We spent the week together. I was in school, but I got to come home every evening to my Grandpa instead of a houseful of roommates. We watched movies together, even went out to eat. It was a fun bonding experience for me; and I hope it was for him too.
He was a hard worker all of his life. He and Grandma owned several restaurants throughout their lives. They were loved by all of their customers. He was a senior missionary in the Micronesia Guam mission, where he was instrumental in securing much land for building churches. In the 25 years since he has been home from that mission, the church has grown exponentially in that area. When I left to serve a mission in upstate NY in 2004, I smuggled a shell-framed photograph of the two of them from their mission. It hung on the wall of every apartment I lived in. When I was having a difficult time having charity for my investigators or companions, I looked at that photo and Grandpa’s warm smile always seemed to give me a little bit of extra strength.
Every year when I was growing up, our family would have a big camping trip in the same location on the banks of the Greys River, Wyoming. Grandpa and Grandma worked hard to keep his family close to them and to one another. Their efforts have paid off. He maintained very good physical health as long as he could. Until he was no longer able, he loved to walk, swim and ride his bike. He remained as active as possible for as long as possible. He was an example to all of us of the positive impact that physical activity can have on our psychological selves.
I think when we have experiences like this, we tend to get really retrospective. Memories have a little bit more meaning when we know that they are all we have.
I will always remember my Grandpa B. He has been such a blessing in my life and in the lives of everyone around him. He greeted everyone with a warm, friendly smile. He had a child-like quality in him that never went away. Even in his final months, he continued to be pleasant and friendly to everyone he saw, even if he no longer recognized them. Everything was exciting to him; he had an invaluable appreciation for the world and everything that it has to offer. He loved his family. He is joyfully reuniting with his son and daughter on the other side. He is more than likely gearing up for another day of work.
So, back to my questions of how to honor the life of Grandpa B: I think the greatest thing that he has taught me has been to always stay optimistic. His laid back personality has enabled him to see the positive in all scenarios. Even in the last few months, where he has rarely spoke, a phrase he repeated often was “go with the flow.” It could be Grandpa’s mantra. I can honor the life of my grandpa by greeting everyone I meet with a smile, by identifying, even searching for the strengths of others, and by living my life in a way that I will be able to be with him and the rest of my family again someday. It’s really that simple. I so grateful for the life he lived, for the way he chose to raise my dad, for the legacy of service and kindness he has passed on to me, his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and friends.
We love you, Grandpa!
-"When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."
Mosiah 2:17
Book of Mormon
Franklin Idaho Bradbury: 1920-2010
Laura and I had a great time doing a triathlon this year. We didn't quite prepare as well as we would have liked. We went biking a few times and attempted running at the park. The triathlon was at Smith Mountain State Park at the water was in the low 50s. We borrowed some wet suits and were about the only ones without super triathlete wetsuits. The boys came and cheered us on and played at the playground. It was a fun day and even though we didn't get our best times we still completed it and didn't die so I consider that a success.
