Kindergarten or Preschool?

Kindergarten or Preschool?- that is the question that shouldn't have ever been a question but has been knawing at us for weeks.

Warning- this is a frustrated soap box post, proceed at own risk.

The past two months have been extremely stressful as we have been preparing to send Adam back to school and find day care for charlie and preschool for Jack.We started applying to preschools 2-3 months ago. The local school district has a great full time preschool program with free bus service, free breakfast and lunch served daily and relatively small class sizes. We were first told that Jack wouldn't qualify because: 1. we were married, 2. we have college education and 3.we are not currently on welfare. "Are you kidding?" I asked, "So you're telling me we would have a better chance of getting into preschool if we were divorced or drug adicts?" "Yes" she said and then added to Adam, "It helps that you're unemployed, but it would be better if you have ever served time."! I couldn't beleve that we were being discriminated against because we are married and trying to take care of our children and make a life for ourselves. We then tried to get Jack into a Headstart program and they told us that we are the wrong race. The preschool grant system is set up so that they receive more money for each hispanic or black student they have so they take all of those children and then take the white children if they have any spaces left. That is crazy! In more than half of this town, we are the minority.

We then wondered if we were being led to put him in Kindergarten because here the deadline is Sept 30 so technically he is able. Utah's cutoff is Sept 1, and Jacks birthday is Sept 14th. I filled out all the papers and tried to register him for kindergarten but then I started hearing more horror stories about how much is demanded of kindergarteners. It is a full day program but the kids need to beable to write their first and last names, recite their adress and telephone number, write all their letters, (some can read already) and do basic math BEFORE going to Kindergarten. I thought that's what they were supposed to learn IN Kindergarten. We attempted to teach Jack to write his name, we bribed him with chocolate cake for each correct letter, but he still hated it and I could tell that he is just too competitive to start out at the back of the class. Not to mention that this is one of my Mom's soap boxes she has preached to everyone since I was a kid. "Boys mature slower than girls so if you have a boy on the fence keep him home an extra year." I beleived that... still do, but when we don't qualify for free preschool like everybody else, the only other option is preschool-daycare at $100/ week. I hate to make decisions for my childrens future based on money, but when you add up 2 kids in daycare, we're looking at $600/ month. (we do get a multiple child discount) That is almost more than our rent out here. Today we had hope for one last preschool option and set up appointments to screen him, show them our taxes, bla bla bla, and she told me that technically Jack is too old for the program by 14 days. I tried to explain our predicament to her, but there was no budging. As I hung up with her, I felt discriminated against again. 14 days!

That reminds me of our other 14 day problem. We are just a few weeks shy of having lived here for a full year and so we have been rejected for instate tuition meaning that one semester will cost us$6,000 instead of $2,000. We asked if there was anything we could do and they said no. If we made less money we could qualify for grants and if Adam had lost a job here, they would pay for all of his schooling. If he were female or a minority, there would be financial aid. There are absolutely no scholarships around here for middle class white males. It is so frustrating to me that thousands of people around here are receiving money, health care, food- (that was the first thing we learned here: NEVER EVER under any circumstances go to Walmart on the first of the month, the checkout lines are terribly long), and childcare assistance that is paid for by the working tax payers (like myself). I know some people genuinly need it, but I have seen so much fraud lately, and people who just think the government owes them for being alive and refuse to work because they are better off recieving government services, and if they get a job they will lose their benefits...

I am grateful for my job and for the opportunity I have of working and planning for a good future for my family. "I'm above the below and below the upper, I'm stuck in the middle where money gets tight but I guess I'm doin alright." As for now we've decided ot keep paying our tithing, try and find Adam a job that will pay for daycare, take less classes so tuition will be a little less, and pray that everything will work out.