Utah Trip

With Madi and Brennan at Uncle Phil's remembrance party
Charlie the gardener

Samy and Charlie- Best Buddies
Blowing bubbles with our friends the HALES
Becky and Punkie- Best buddies
Daddy's girl

Swimming Lessons

The favorite after swimming actvity- Climbing THE WALLLilly dressed for the pool and stuck her toes in once, but we still thought she was a little young to go for her first swim
Charlie with his teacher finally smiling by the last day
Jack with his teacher- he's probably winning the splashing the teacher contest (there's one in every crowd...)
Charlie when they finally figured out he wasn't afraid of the water and could actually swim

Scary Charly with demon eyes...

Charlie and Jack each took swimming lessons at the Rec center in Bountiful. They both did great. My goals were not necessarily that they would learn to swim better (because I can teach them that) but that they would have fun and practice listening to an instructor and another adult. Charlie struggled the first week and had several breakdowns stating that he did not want to get in the pool with his teacher. They called in the crying specialist and he did a little better but as soon as he got near an edge he would jump out and run to me and refuse to get back in. His teacher was very young and inexperienced and kept trying to teach him breastroke, which is kind of ridiculous for an almost three year old. I didn’t want him to have a bad experience and I debated just pulling him out and waiting for next year, but since Jack was still going, I didn’t want Charlie to feel like he got his way because of his tantrums. So many changes, with his Daddy being gone, it was easy to see why Charlie was being so clingy. The next week I got in with him and he did GREAT. He was able to show them that he wasn’t afraid of the water that he can float and he learned to relax on his back float. By the end of the week, Charlie had decided that if I just put my toes in the water and promised to watch him in his lesson that was good enough.

Jack got better at treading, he is very good at diving off the side and getting rings off the bottom, and after being threatened with losing a token, he was able to keep his head above water and listen to his teacher.

Parenting 505

While Adam was gone and I was in Utah, I had a few rough nights where Lilly was fussy, Charlie wouldn’t stay in his bed and Jack and Charlie were bickering constantly. After one particularly rough night, I went to the library to look up books on parenting. As I was standing there in the aisle with the two boys, one started pushing the other, followed by a biting incident. I felt like anyone walking by was thinking, “Yea she better be checking out “Parenting with Love and Logic” and “The Difficult Child.” I’ve been examining my parenting style and thinking about how I want to encourage positive behavior.

The book I started with was “How to Tame the Dragon in your Child.” It had some good ideas but the most important one for me was that I needed to set the example. If I let myself get so exhausted that I lose my cool and throw my own temper tantrum, how can I expect them to handle their anger in a positive way. If I spank them when I’m mad, how I can I teach them not to hit when they are mad. I’ve always known that you shouldn’t spank after a child turns three, but since Charlie’s a few weeks from three and passing through a defiant stage, I guess I’ve been feeling like I need to get them in while I can. But now, I resolve to stop spanking period, to get myself in control before I discipline, and to encourage and teach positive interactions and self-control. One of the first things I tried that made a big difference was spending one on one time with Charlie. Just an hour of playing with me alone made a HUGE difference in his mood for the rest of the day. We also implemented a token system at Adam’s suggestion where the kids could earn tokens for good behavior and handling frustrations positively and lose tokens for negative behavior. We promised a reward when Adam arrived from VA if they each had 10 tokens. Charlie is still a bit young for it but with Jack it worked like a charm. I didn’t even have to threaten taking tickets but a simple, “Jack” would remind him to treat his brother with more kindness.

By reading and talking to some good friends, I was able to make enough a paradigm shift that the next time Charlie pooped his pants. (He’s been so good but the last few weeks his potty training has gone out the window) but instead of thinking that he had done it on purpose and flying off the handle and disciplining because of his apparent disrespect for my authority, I didn’t say anything and happily cleaned him up. Without prompting, he said that he was sorry and I was able to be the comforting Mom and tell him that we all make mistakes and he can try better next time. What a difference! I love being a Mom and I love spending quality time with my kids. I’m working with Jack a few minutes a day on reading and it is so incredibly rewarding. I’m kind of sad it has to end and I have to go back to work in Aug.

Parents can and must correct, even chasten, if their children are not to be cast adrift at the mercy of a merciless adversary and his supporters. President Boyd K. Packer has observed that when a person in a position to correct another fails to do so, he is thinking of himself. Remember that reproof should be timely, with sharpness or clarity, 'when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy' (D&C 121:43)” (D. Todd Christofferson, “As Many as I Love, I Rebuke and Chasten,” Apr. 2011 general conference).

“A sweet and obedient child will enroll a father or mother only in Parenting 101. If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505. Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more godlike yourself. With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?” (Lynn G. Robbins, “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?” Apr. 2011 general conference).

Flaming Gorge 2011

We went out to Flaming Gorge with Robby and Alyssa and his friends Kyle and Jen. Despite rainy weather, water that was too high and had washed out the trails and broken boats, we had a pretty good time. Jack is now officially obsessed with fireworks, Lilly slept through the night (twice) and Charlie is training for his future as an Olympic runner. He probably did about 20 laps around the cabin a day as fast as he could. Keith and Eileen let us stay in their bunkhouse, which was pretty fun. Grandma Julie, Madi and Grandpa Dave stopped by for lunch one day and brought Lilly a really cute dress for boating. We roasted hot dogs, made smores including an inside out smore and enjoyed spending time with Robby.