MY MIDWEST ADVENTURE BEGINS – AGAIN

March 9, 2008

As I drove along the rolling hills of Kansas, quiet reflection taught me about life. I had been driving for the second day in a row. On my way to Oklahoma City for: work, school, spiritual enlightenment, physical redemption, and a new chance on life. I listened to a radio program about “stay at home dads” and their place in today’s society. I caught just the end of the broadcast in which they spoke of the bond a father had formed with his children that other “normal” dads had not been able to experience. I caught a glimmer of pride in my self. Having accomplished a time at home with my son, Jackson. I could relate to the bond that comes from having so much time with your kids. I felt like a chapter in my life was sadly closing as I plunged onward to my destination.

Several topics later they came to a segment about a “Daddy boot camp”. Where first time expectant fathers were able to come to a group session for men on how to deal with the birth of their newborn baby. Most of the to be fathers expressed feelings of being overwhelmed at the prospect of parenthood. Not just the mechanics, i.e. (changing a diaper) but also the emotional and social changes that occur. This class was also host to graduates of the program, now pros, these dads of two to three months would bring their babies to help instruct on diapering and calming skills. When they questioned about the most difficult part of having new baby in the house, the most common response was: understanding, and dealing with the new Mommies. The changes in the mothers required the most tact as the woman dealt with her body and swing of attention from her partner to her child.

Experts say that the earliest part of a child's life is the most important time for a father to begin bonding with that child. If a strong bond is formed in the beginning it becomes much easier for that bond to grow as does the child. This bond is not merely chance. It requires work from both parents. The father must be available for the child, and the mother must allow the father to participate. Without a good bonding experience the stay at home dad type of bond could not be possible.

I counted my self thankful today, more than ever before, for the mishaps of our first child's birth. When Jackson was born, things did not happen the way we expected them to. His coming to the world was assisted by an emergency c-section. This procedure rendered my wife frustrated, and stuck. Her open wound did not permit her to do all the things she wanted to, especially when it came to the baby. I, on the other hand was very fortunate to have two weeks of vacation, to spend at home with my family. I was able to get in and do the “dirty” work. This call to arms was extended when a poorly healed c-section had to be re opened a week after child birth, and left open to slowly heal. Extending the time I was so strongly needed. My wife Becky had an terrible time, and some times we wondered why she had to go through so much. It all seemed so senseless at the time.

Though it may not be the only reason why her sufferings were so great, I feel that a part of it was to prepare me for the important role of Father, and “stay at home dad”. By being thrust into service I learned, grew, and bonded in a way I may not have been able to otherwise.

Though life’s circles do not always make sense, today I thanked my Father in Heaven for my small miracle.